Online Graduations & American Idols - Adventure Year Week 48

This week in COVID19 Pandemic and Quarantine History we saw an entire world attempt to adjust to a new normal of not being able to gather in person for Graduation Ceremonies or College Visits and still wanting to make college decisions based on the either/or possibilities that the next couple semesters may need to be entirely online and devoid of campus life connections.  ABC decided to do one big collective graduation ceremony and commencement through an hour long network special that was also streamed live across major social media sites.



We even watched network television wrestle with how to do a live television broadcast of an American Idol competition normally hosted on an elaborate stage in front of a live audience in person.



What was once a Sunday night of sports television, has now been replaced with Disney Sing-Alongs with Karaoke-Style Lyrics.  People are mourning the fact there will be no summer Olympics as scheduled in Tokyo, and many other summer travel plans that have now been officially cancelled due to the COVID19 pandemic and travel restrictions remaining in place to limit spread of the virus and keep citizens close to their home hospitals and services.



Behind the scenes, I was struggling to find any sense of productivity.  I felt like I'd had enough time to grieve all the summer plans and adjust to a new sense of normal, and yet I still felt frustrated that I wasn't able to make much of any progress on my working agenda. I was holding space for a lot of friends and family members who were still struggling and it weighed on my emotional and head space quite a bit.

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Abstract view of a quarantine sunset. I don’t know about you guys, but it’s been really challenging for me to get into a headspace in which I can do something that looks like work. I’ve got all the time in the world to think about life, how to make the most of each minute, how to wrestle with personal junk, looking through random books, lightly exploring archives only when necessary, figuring out what puzzle pieces fit into the puzzle, what would be a good movie to watch, whether it’s warm enough to go for a walk, etc... But generating new work? Marketing existing work? Can’t seem to get my head to go there or to stay there right now. I’ve got ears for friends and for family members. I’ve got journal pages full of thoughts. I’ve got hands that are perfectly happy cooking and cleaning. I even get the occasional craving for a take out run, or a grocery run, but trying to work isn’t working right now. I hope it will pass. I hope this is just a quarantine phase. It would be nice to feel more productive, but in the meantime, I’m also trying not to beat myself up about what isn’t working right now, and have compassion for what actually feels possible. I hope you’re doing the same for yourself.

A post shared by Anne’s Adventure Journal (@anneruthmann) on May 11, 2020 at 9:33am PDT

We also experienced a very rare day of snow in May.  Usually an April snow day is the last sign of winter, but perhaps because of our reduced carbon footprint this year with flights reduced, car use reduced, and fewer cruise ships traveling in the ocean, we may have recovered some of the cooler weather and freezing we used to have when the planet was a bit cooler and less overworked.

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Snow and Sunshine- a rare May Day. How incredible is it that just a few months of reduced airplane travel, reduced cruise ship travel, reduced car usage, reduced office hours, reduced events, and reduced manufacturing have the power to give the skies, the seas, the plants, and the animals a much needed rest. Of course we won’t know the total climate benefit or impact of shut downs and closures until we look at it in the context of several years before and after, but it does provide some hope that just a bit less striving, grasping, and escaping may actually be healthy for the planet. The planet has never needed us, but we have always needed the planet- even when we are among the stars and the moon- we still need the grounding and connection that a healthy Earth provides in order to survive.

A post shared by Anne’s Adventure Journal (@anneruthmann) on May 12, 2020 at 5:09am PDT

I've been diving into a lot of Pema Chödrön's writings and buddhist practice technique reminders from The Compassion Box...

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Loved this quote: “Resistance to unwanted circumstances has the power to keep those circumstances alive and well for a very long time.” - Pema Chödrön When I read that, I just wanted to bathe in its wisdom and applicability to all areas of life. Resist quarantine? Spike in cases, now more quarantine. Resist resting to heal? Exacerbated problems, more rest required. Resist working on yourself? Encounter more personal problems that force you to work on yourself. Resist dealing with family issues? More misunderstandings and more family issues. Resist fixing your car? Car continues to break and require more fixing. Resist taking medication? Health issues increase, more medication needed. Resist uncomfortable conversations? Attract more uncomfortable conversations that pile on in the space of resistance. Resist anything and the energy of the resistance itself creates more of what is trying to be resisted.

A post shared by Anne’s Adventure Journal (@anneruthmann) on May 13, 2020 at 6:38am PDT

Part of that was a desire to have more compassion for some very angered and difficult discussions among friends and family.

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When our thoughts, words, and deeds are in alignment, we experience greater bliss in all areas of our life. If we think harsh thoughts, but say kind words, the frequency of our harsh thinking still travels in the vibration of our words and in our body. This is why it may be better to say nothing, than to speak what is actually a lie against our own thoughts. Words can transmit the vibration of misalignment. That vibration is physical enough that it can be captured in polygraph testing and felt by intuitive minds and hearts. We can think we are saying all the right things because we have worked very hard to choose the right words, but this is no use if we stop at our words and do not address our thoughts. If we have not addressed our thoughts and recognized when we are out of alignment between our inner thoughts and our outer words, we will continue to carry the disruptive vibration in our own physical body, and it will be harder to experience the universal joy and ease that comes with alignment. This disruptive vibration isn’t just something picked up on by a machine or an intuitive person, this disruptive vibration has the potential to impact many of the subtle systems of the body that rely on a harmonious vibration in order to operate well. Misalignment of thoughts, words, and deeds practiced often can lead to illness, stress, injury, and many other physical forms of pain and suffering. The good news is that alignment of thoughts, words, and deeds can also bring about healing. As the energy of the body comes into greater alignment, greater harmony, greater compassion for ourselves and for others, we begin to experience more ease, more bliss, and more support from the greater world at large. We are all capable of this fantastic alignment, but it takes mindfulness and surrender to recognize when we have acted out of alignment against ourselves.

A post shared by Anne’s Adventure Journal (@anneruthmann) on May 14, 2020 at 1:53am PDT

Max, and a lot of other people were having feelings of just wanting to escape and get away from everything, as if it was somehow going to be any easier or better anywhere else right now.

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Max is having a lot of “the grass is greener in their yard” thoughts. He really just wants to run away from all the things he wishes were different rather than learning how to deal with this moment in better ways. Unfortunately, wherever he goes, there his frustrations still are. He can’t outrun his own mind. Never enough balls to chase, dogs to bark at, or treats to eat... a life of never-enoughness. Don’t worry, he’s in puppy therapy trying to work on his persistent feelings of dissatisfaction no matter the circumstances. In the meantime, he’ll just mope on this armchair.

A post shared by Anne’s Adventure Journal (@anneruthmann) on May 15, 2020 at 4:07am PDT

When I started meditation practice 10 years ago, I never knew the extent of the possibilities with a dedication to meditation practice.  However, after 10 years, I have also recognized that we can continue to meet the same challenges over and over again in our meditation practice, and even if we achieve overcoming all of these challenges in various moments, it doesn't mean we won't meet them once again in the future.  It's a constant form of practice- both in meditation and outside of meditation.

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Meditation Development (as I see it) by Anne Ruthmann 1. First Challenge: Awareness Become aware of the internal chatter and how it is separate from your awareness of it 2. Second Challenge: Openness Release judgement or control of internal chatter and just listen as if tuning into a radio 3. Third Challenge: Self-Modulation Notice how the internal chatter activates emotions and tries to move the body, notice how this is different than open awareness 4. Fourth Challenge: Self-Control Make meditation a regular practice as often as possible and honor your carved out time to just sit and observe yourself, reminding the internal chatter that action will be resumed later, but right now you are choosing to observe 5. Fifth Challenge: Daily Mindfulness Practicing these awareness steps enough that it becomes easier and easier to separate thoughts from emotions and actions even when not in meditation 6. Sixth Challenge: Mind Control Having full awareness of the internal chatter as it happens in daily life, in order to shift the mind from fixation, judgement, and assumption into more curiosity, openness, and awareness 7. Seventh Challenge: Intuitive Development Develop so much awareness of your own thinking, and your own moments of silence and stillness, that you also develop clarity and awareness of when thoughts are being received from elsewhere rather than generated from within 8. Eighth Challenge: Universal Awareness Being able to bring full awareness to any place, person, or moment outside of the immediate physical environment and provide accurate descriptions of that place, person, or moment while never being there physically (Yes, there is always more, like Jedi training, but practice first, you must 😉)

A post shared by Anne’s Adventure Journal (@anneruthmann) on May 16, 2020 at 4:13am PDT

Noticing the little things always grounds me back into reality and the beauty of being embodied and connecting with this beautiful planet full of interesting things.

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An early morning stroll led me to these most unusual flowers.

A post shared by Anne’s Adventure Journal (@anneruthmann) on May 17, 2020 at 3:43pm PDT

Eventually, by the end of the week, I had a brief moment of being able to make some progress on work after doing a lot of clearing out of my head and heart space.

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The “is-there-stuff-on-my-face(?)” selfie before the zoom call. Also, no, I’m not putting on makeup. I’m practicing acceptance of my natural no-makeup face instead.

A post shared by Anne’s Adventure Journal (@anneruthmann) on May 19, 2020 at 9:39am PDT