Traveling with local guidance versus foreign guidance results in different experiences of culture. I'm grateful that I've had a chance to travel with local guidance in various places around the world because it provides a deeper sense of cultural norms and expectations than traveling with foreign guidance. When I say local guidance, I usually mean someone who was born and raised in a place, versus someone who gives local tours but did not grow up in the culture.
Sometimes this local guidance comes in the form of a hired tour guide, and sometimes it comes in the form of a local friend or colleague that is patient and understanding when asking questions about local differences. Some people may assume they'll encounter differences and be surprised by how much is the same, while other people may expect things to be the same and end up confronted with how much they are different. I do my best to enter each new city with as few expectations as possible, but inevitably, because I ask a lot of questions when I can, I will often learn what hidden assumptions I may have once I begin to encounter the local unmentionables.
In Bali, through discussions with local guides, I learned that people will not speak of corrupt actions they see happening or confront someone directly in the face of corrupt actions, even though they may experience the issues that come with these actions daily. There is some need to save face, even in the midst of doing something wrong. They may also dismiss discussions of inequity, as many people still consider the caste system a fact of daily life and organization for society.
In Grenada, the local guide helped me understand what topics and outsider perspectives were off limits with regard to certain time periods of history, outside perspectives on conflicts, or political decisions and negotiations that were made historically.
In Russia, the local guide mentioned nicknames for all the famous rulers of the past, but when I asked whether the current political leader had a nickname, the guide's humorous tone turned very serious when he said "there used to be a nickname used by a comedian, but no one uses that nickname anymore," eluding to a possible unsavory outcome. I could tell this wasn't a topic to discuss further.
China lets you know what the unmentionables are by actively shutting down apps, online services, and websites that convey negative comments about politics or leadership. Saving face and being respectful no matter what is happening is a very important cultural ideology and means of maintaining peace and social grace. To a free-speech country, this may appear controlling, but locally, this is considered more a form of proper etiquette. Part of understating the culture is learning when and how to convey disagreement indirectly.
In Singapore, you do not talk about race or religion in any way other than to celebrate or inspire. Any form of divisive commentary regarding race or religion are against the entire peacekeeping culture of Singapore that does its best to accept all people as inclusively and welcoming as possible.
The French do not want to hear about your career, fancy purchases, or politics, which are often topics that Americans tend to talk about. They will tune you out and dismiss you as a boring or bragging person who cannot relate. Food, art, music, and travel are much more desirable conversations.
In England, you never disparage the Queen and you don't complain about anything personal other than the weather. You are to "keep calm, carry on" no matter the disasters befalling your situation.
Despite how often racial issues are featured in United States news, we don't considered OK to talk about race in daily conversation. People can be described by their clothing, their hair type, and shade of skin as being lighter or darker- but it's best not to assume their place of origin, religion (unless their clothing is of religious-designation), sexual orientation, or their personal heritage if you don't actually know.
As a traveler, I sincerely appreciate getting an introduction to local culture and unmentionable topics through a local guide. Local guides are the most forgiving and tolerant when people do not understand what is off-limits as a visitor, and guides have the most patience for helping tourists understand local etiquette in a short time frame.
Even if you cannot get a local guide, YouTube and Blogs also have plenty of travel etiquette advice to offer that is specific to whatever country or city you may plan to visit in your travels. It's never been easier to educate yourself before venturing out into other areas of the world, so that you can be welcomed as a respectful traveler who engages consciously with respectful consideration of local etiquette that is different in each city and culture. To get you started on your search, pick a country you'd love to visit and search YouTube for "What Not To Do in (Country)" and watch a few different perspectives to see variations and differences between opinions.
