I'm currently in Bali and writing this on Wednesday 6pm at sunset from the porch of a rented villa in Canggu. I didn't even realize I missed my self-imposed writing deadline yesterday until it was too late to think about writing anything- but I'm trying not to be too hard on myself when writing for myself rather than for a client! Alex and I arrived Monday evening and the last 48hrs have basically been settling into our local neighborhood full of cafes, restaurants, shops, and traffic buzzing along a narrow street with no sidewalks. There's so much in this small area that we haven't ventured away yet, but that makes it easier to now sit down and write.
She also gifted us this very retro-inspired gift that at first appeared to be a record, but upon opening, was actually a set of teas. Very creative.
Over the last couple weeks we had an influx of visitors to Shanghai that we dined with, entertained, and hosted at our apartment in Shanghai. That also means it was a chance to revisit the touristy places that our guests haven't been, but also discover some new places we may not find reasons to try otherwise. Most of the people who came to visit were teachers on their final weeks of summer break, who had some relation to Alex as a student or colleague at one point in time, and were in the area for family, friends, or work-related events.
Jun-Ting, who was Alex's first master's student at Indiana State University, teaches music education in Taiwan and has family in Shanghai. She invited us to join her family on Chinese Valentine's Day for dinner at the Hyatt on the Bund. We discovered that the Hyatt rooftop bar and lounge may actually have one of the best views of the Shanghai Bund- stretching from one bridge to another, around the bend, and in full view of the Pearl Tower.
She also gifted us this very retro-inspired gift that at first appeared to be a record, but upon opening, was actually a set of teas. Very creative.
I feel like I'm often caught off-guard by the gifting culture in China. I feel like gifts come out of no where for reasons and rules that I'm still unclear on. I'll think we're just meeting up for dinner with someone and BAM, out come gifts, too! I've received many gifts from Alex's students who come from China, even though I've never met them. If they have to gift every one of their teachers, and teacher spouses at a University, can you imagine the luggage they have to carry just for gifts? I've also been told that in most of the circumstances in which I receive gifts, I should not reciprocate. Apparently it's due to the role and respectfulness gifting is meant to show- so I'm just supposed to receive- unlike in the United States, where reciprocity becomes a bigger deal with gifting. I've also been told that Chinese do not expect Westerners to understand the rules around gifting- so I'm off the hook from that perspective as well. Anyway, I digress. Along with the tea gift we received from Jun-Ting, we also received a very nice Soju (rice-whiskey) gift from Angela, who is currently living in South Korea; and is also a former Masters student affiliated with the MusEdLab at NYU. (I don't know if it's weird to mention the gifts people give us, but I know I'd be curious if they weren't mentioned.)
Even though Angela had been to Shanghai before, she hadn't been to some of the traditional sites like Yu Garden and Tianzifang. We lucked out and got a couple days when the heat and humidity was just low enough to enjoy walking around outside in the shade of the garden, but we still found ourselves craving air conditioning and cool iced drinks just to keep our energy up for wandering around. We shared a more expat-centered Shanghai with her, and she shared some traditional Chinese food and an Art Museum I hadn't been to yet with us. This is why I'm always up for adventures with visitors - we all see the city in different ways and can learn more from that.
I didn't get to share a photo from our visit with Stefania Druga, but she was in town to do a workshop, stopped into Alex's class to share some projects, and then met up with us at Char inside Hotel Indigo for dinner and drinks with views along the Bund. She's spending a little more time on this side of the world before heading back to the United States to work on a PhD.
We also met up with Jen just before leaving for Bali, who is not just visiting, but recently moved to Shanghai to work in an international school as a counselor. Jen and Alex both come from the small town of Butler, MO; so it's quite a coincidence that of all the cities in the world, they would both find themselves living and teaching in Shanghai.
With all the visitors we had, I'm also glad we were able to make time to say goodbye to Lulu, who has been so helpful and inspiring in everything she puts her energy into. Last year when we spent our first summer together in Shanghai, she shared her love of her hometown Hangzhou with us, and this year she led a summer school creative performance program that featured some original music created by her and the students, and organized professional creative meetups in Shanghai similar to what MusEdLab does in NYC. We'll miss her in Shanghai as she heads back to NYC in pursuit of a PhD at Columbia.
Playing the role of host and professional spouse for so many visitors can sometimes wear me out and make me feel like I'm not investing enough time in my creative work, but I balanced expectations by not trying to see people in all contexts, and squeezing in work moments whenever I could. There are a few projects brewing behind the scenes, but they still need more time before being publicly available.
