Choosing to live as an expat means you are likely living out one of these purposes at any given time:
I gave myself perspective by remembering that my great aunt was imprisoned in a Japanese internment camp while living here and serving as a religious missionary in Shanghai, and that thankfully, I was not in that situation. I was reminded that in many ways, it was her interment and isolation that actually saved her from other situations that would have been more dangerous or unpleasant at the time. It was her ability to work through the isolation that allowed her to stay safe and eventually get back home to tell the tale.
I decided that I am choosing to stay for family. I am choosing to stay in order to learn things I can't learn otherwise, even if they first seem unpleasant. I am choosing to stay in order to figure out how to work through the challenges that come with navigating these issues. I am choosing to stay in order to explore places that are easier to reach from this side of the world. I am choosing to stay in order to share these experiences and wisdom I've gained.
1. Doing work that allows/requires you to be in a foreign place
2. Exploring the city, country, and culture you are residing in
3. Learning things that you may not learn anywhere else
4. Sharing unique talents, skills, or perspective from your foreign upbringing
What is often least discussed about expat life with people who haven't experienced it before are the personal challenges that need to be faced and overcome in the process of living in a foreign culture. Below is a glimpse into some of my personal challenges, and how I work through them...
Last week, when China celebrated its National week-long holiday as the the 70th Anniversary of the People's Republic, many locals and expats left for the holiday break. I chose to stay in Shanghai. I thought it would be a good time to dig in and focus on some work regarding the Pricing Workbook for Creatives. Unfortunately, what I learned by staying was that China was interrupting VPN and internet access during the National holiday week. Suddenly, what had been feeling like a very open and accepting country, reminded me that even with all of the modern resources available to us, there are still ideological or technological issues surrounding outside connections and worldwide access.
The result of this VPN interruption was that I started to have the isolated feeling of being alone in a place where I had limited local connections and not being able to reach out to people I cared about. Text messages and emails were delayed or dropped. Things weren't loading. Connections were being missed. The communication frustrations piled on until they became feelings of hopelessness. I almost pulled the eject button and booked a flight to leave the country.
Thankfully, I have the mindfulness to recognize these feelings and to work through them.
Thankfully, I'm not a stranger to being alone and figuring out how to make the most of it.
Thankfully, I already knew some people locally that I felt comfortable reaching out to.
I was able to commiserate and distract myself from the connectivity issues by being with other expats who were experiencing the same challenges. (See my previous post about how I met and connected with other Expats in China.) We were able to gather and lift the weight of our frustrations by focusing on playing games that helped us turn our attention to something other than trying to make progress or connections in a time when we were feeling restricted. The relief from the issues was temporary, but enough to help me get through the week.
When I had planned to release any desire to make progress on my workbook and shift my motivations to living out purpose number 2 and explore the city during the National Holiday, typhoon weather moved into Shanghai, dousing the city in horizontal rain and outdoor-furniture destroying winds. With strained internet connection and no reason to leave the apartment, I once again turned my focus inward to figure out purpose number 3 in this moment of isolation that I likely wouldn't be experiencing anywhere else.
I gave myself perspective by remembering that my great aunt was imprisoned in a Japanese internment camp while living here and serving as a religious missionary in Shanghai, and that thankfully, I was not in that situation. I was reminded that in many ways, it was her interment and isolation that actually saved her from other situations that would have been more dangerous or unpleasant at the time. It was her ability to work through the isolation that allowed her to stay safe and eventually get back home to tell the tale.
I reminded myself of all the reasons I was choosing to stay here, beyond the work I thought I'd be able to focus on and the progress I wanted to make. I reminded myself that I could also choose to leave and not stay. I was not stuck. I was not imprisoned. I have free-will to leave as I'd like. I'm just a visitor and don't have any working obligations to be here.
I decided that I am choosing to stay for family. I am choosing to stay in order to learn things I can't learn otherwise, even if they first seem unpleasant. I am choosing to stay in order to figure out how to work through the challenges that come with navigating these issues. I am choosing to stay in order to explore places that are easier to reach from this side of the world. I am choosing to stay in order to share these experiences and wisdom I've gained.
I think that often, when we find ourselves feeling stuck, we need to remember that each day is a choice. Each day we are choosing to continue doing whatever it is that we are doing. If we are not mindful enough to remember how much choice we have in any given moment, we will lose the very balance and personal power that helps us overcome our challenges.
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