Ugly Betty to Betty Boop #1 - My Story of Weight Loss from the Inside Out

I wasn't born fat. Well, maybe I was. In baby photos I look a lot like the Michelin Man. I'm pretty sure the creases in my forearm are permanent reminders of where my baby fat rolls were, like an origami fold in life. These "Wrinkles in Time" have been shallower or deeper over the years depending on my weight. Same goes for the ones on my neck, and unless I want to sport the beat poet turtle neck look 24/7 like Diane Keaton, I still have to face those things every morning in the mirror.

I know I wasn't born fat because I lived most of my life not worrying about my weight or ever letting my size bother me. Once puberty hit, I sprouted like a bamboo stalk allowing those baby rolls to finally stretch out, leaving behind only the wrinkled skin reminders. The issues I had to deal with were less of the too-fat-for-the-clearance-rack kind, and more of the too-tall-for-normal-people-size kind. My shorts and skirts were always too short for my long trunk and long legs and my shirts were never long enough or roomy enough to fully cover my long torso and discretely hide my ample boobs.

As a teenager, I had the body that elicited whistles and honks as I walked to the park or the beach. I still didn't feel pretty in the face. In fact, I never felt pretty once puberty hit and my nose, cheeks, and forehead took over my tiny almond eyes. I hated wearing glasses. I just wanted to feel "normal," yet I still looked and behaved more mature than my age. I was 12 and many people thought I was 18. I felt awkward and out of place with other girls. I slouched so I wouldn't feel so tall. I found solace in music and theatre, where everyone was a little awkward, but not in competition with each other- just working together to create art.

Weight didn't become a problem for me until I got married. I'm not blaming marriage or my husband. I'm blaming myself for changing my eating habits to fit another person's dietary needs instead of listening to my body and what it was telling me. Blood tests helped us learn that our bodies metabolize sugar and fat in completely opposite ways. His risks are with sugars and mine are with cholesterol. We didn't find this out until about four years into our marriage. We didn't actually start doing anything about it until eight years into our marriage. Our unhealthy habits were beginning to affect our mood toward each other and our energy levels to do the things we love. I wish we hadn't let it get that bad before deciding we needed change, but sometimes you have to let everything go to shit so you can experience how awful it really is, before you'll get fed up and decide you need to take control and make some tough changes.