Every Memorial Day for the last few decades, Hartland, MI would recognize military who died in service and the coming of spring with a Memorial Day parade. This year, with pandemic guidelines limiting public events and large gatherings, the street was empty with a solitary large flag suspended above.
What moments of connection and happiness that we've been able to muster this week have come from regular video calls with friends and family members online.
One of the blessings for my mom during this time has been an almost daily check-in with her granddaughter and daughter-in-law. In this scene- Emily helps Violet try on a mask, grandma shows how excited she is to see it, and I just laugh at how quickly Violet is going to pull that fabric off her face. Even though we were supposed to be traveling together and enjoying all sorts of fun things in Shanghai right now, we are still together in Michigan, albeit with very different experiences brought on by pandemic. We grieve our travel plans, but delight in connecting more often with friends and family, even if it’s only over the phone or video chat. We grieve the tasty restaurant meals and environments that just aren’t the same when done take-out style, but we find delight in growing more herbs and creating more gardens. We grieve the hugs we haven’t been giving or receiving, but do our best to indulge in some self-care instead. We grieve for the people we’ve lost on this Memorial Day, while still trying to hold close all the people we so desperately want to see again once we all get to the other side of this experience. It’s always weird for me to say Happy Memorial Day... but I hope that what you remember on Memorial Day are all the people and moments that have made you happy, because those are what we really need to memorialize. ❤️
My mom decided the weather was nice enough to warrant the need for a new grill and some BBQ time outside.
I've also discovered my mom has a hidden talent for making mini-bud-vase arrangements from wildflowers and cultivated flowers in her garden....
How are you handling the grief? It’s not easy, but some grief responses make it easier and some make it harder. Some people don’t even realize their overwhelm, anger, anxiety, or frustration are part of how they grieve lost travel plans, lost time with friends or family, lost distractions and outings, lost sense of security, and managing a wide variety of unknowns. Some days the grief hits me like waves of tears triggered by memories of things I loved, some days it hits me like total exhaustion and feeling defeated or unmotivated. When it comes on like anxiety, at least it gives me the energy to walk or exercise or do physical tasks and chores that require additional energy output. I had one day of anger and it was a great time to cut all the vegetables with sharp objects and pound some bread into dough. When it comes on like layers of depression or sadness, I become thoughtful, remind myself not to dwell too long in the places of difficulty, and find some small amount of remaining beauty to be inspired by like this little bud vase arranged with backyard flowers. What’s been working to help you manage the grief aspects in ways that are healthy and don’t take it out on others around you?
My empathic / clairsentient sensitivities have gotten the best of me several times this week and led to me needing to take even more time to myself, isolating even from people I love just to deal with all the intensity of the feels I've been having of my own while trying not to be taken down by the feels of others around me or in connection to me. Quarantine has been hard on all of us, but some of us are more adept at dealing with our anger or frustrations without taking it out on others. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I recognize my need to pull back and disconnect in order to avoid further overwhelm as well as further entanglement with difficult things other people are experiencing. I always know I'll be fine once I clear the feelings out - but to clear them out rather than continuing to pass them on - I need all the alone time I can get.
As a physical empath and clairsentient- I feel the anger of others as a physical experience, even if it’s delivered by text. First is the jolt of electricity, like an electrical shock that ripples through my nervous system like lightening and thunder across a sky. Shortly following the initial shock is often a racing heart or raised blood pressure depending on the intensity of the anger being projected outward. Once my mind becomes aware that my body has absorbed this disruptive energetic interference, I start focusing on deep breathing to regain control over my heart rate and nervous system, to bring my energy back into my own control. This is what makes it hard for me to be around people who are careless with their anger and frustration. If people haven’t learned how to manage it without dumping it on others, than conversations with these “super-venters” are like walking into fields full of land mines and hidden explosive triggers. They may just want to vent or dump their anger, because it feels good to them, but that venting can leave me feeling energetically drained and in need of hours to recuperate. Right now the world is dumping a lot of its anger online, rather than turning toward compassion or self-healing grief. Angry people are just mindlessly passing invisible kettle bells of hurt from one person to another, and some days I just have to disconnect from it all in order to keep my own energetic system healthy. For some reason, whenever that wave of anger reaches my body, I also find the carnelian stone to be deeply calming when placed on the body. I discovered this soothing effect physically before I learned a bit more about how carnelians have historically been used as amulets for battle. Maybe one day science will be able to explain all of these things that are already so palpable to a highly sensitive empath.
I continue to attempt to get that alone time outside in nature as much as possible, so that I'm staying connected to an energy source of peace and balance that is much larger than myself or anyone else around me. This has been incredibly helpful at this time, and I'm so grateful that I'm quarantined in a place with a beautiful back yard, plenty of green trees, and a clear sky to soak in as often as possible.
Somehow, in the midst of this crazy pandemic, we were also able to successfully launch a Spaceship into space. Meanwhile, there are people still struggling to get unemployment checks and PPP loans to keep their businesses and employees afloat. Such surreal and strange times we are living in.
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