May 10, 2020

Mother's Day in Quarantine - Adventure Year Week 47

I got lucky when I entered this world with Ceci as my mother, and I'm so grateful that she's my quarantine buddy.  When I needed to choose where I would quarantine for a few months between somewhere in Europe, China, or the United States - the person I wanted to make sure was definitely going to be safe, was my mother.  My spouse was going to be OK with his colleagues and support systems in Shanghai.  My father and step-mother had each other.  My siblings all had partners.  Europe was going to be expensive and potentially uncooperative with VISA extensions.  Our NYC apartment was still being sublet until the fall, so Michigan with my mother was the option that would make me worry the least while the world would continue to free-fall in chaos.








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She and I had planned to be traveling during this time, so we would have been together anyway. However, this week we were supposed to be on a Viking Tour of China, landing in Shanghai, where I would have shown her some of my favorite highlights around the city.  We then would have boarded the Viking Emerald through inner China, stopping in Wuhan, Jingzhou, Three Gorges, Shibaozhai, Chongqing, and then staying at the St. Regis Shangri-La Xian, and the Fairmont in Beijing.  It was supposed to be a fabulous and amazing once-in-a-lifetime exploration of China.  How ironic that Wuhan was the declared epicenter of this entire pandemic.

Viking was one of the first cruise companies to make drastic cancellations of all tours in China through June 2020.  That turned out to be a very bold and smart move since China has completely closed its borders to visiting passports.  I happened to catch a glimpse of a foodie tour of Tibet on Instagram that looked like one we were scheduled to be on, so I loaded it up on the TV so my mom and I could enjoy some small experience and glimpse into what we may have been doing if it weren't for a pandemic.  Maybe you'd like to see it as well....



Other travel plans we had together that were cancelled for the pandemic were a multi-country Mediterranean Cruise departing from Nice, France in March; and a Grand Alaska tour scheduled for August.  Needless to say, my mom was planning to be traveling a LOT this year, rather than being stuck at home day after day and being forced to adjust to sequestered life for weeks on end.  This is also why I'm glad I'm here - I don't know if she would have managed this transition as well without someone else here to help break the isolation.  She went from working overtime in public service to intending to spend all of her time traveling - so quarantine is a HUGE adjustment.



She decided to decorate her windows this week in solidarity with the library she retired from and with people displaying rainbows and other fun scavenger hunts for people to discover during their own neighborhood walks.








Many of the meals we’ve made during this time remind me of how hard this would have been while my mom was a single mom, trying to keep two kids safe while working full time. As kids, everything we ate came out of a box or a can, and could easily be microwaved. There is zero judgement about that- we all do what we need to do in order to get by. As kids, we tried to be as self-sufficient as possible in order to help out, but we did experience some fires along the way and probably destroyed a few things that we didn’t know we were destroying. We were all just trying to do our best to get by and meet our needs. I feel deeply for the parents who are struggling right now. For the home cooks who need a friggin’ break from being the designated cook in the house. For the parent who has to carry everyone’s emotional load all day long and rarely gets a moment alone, even when trying to find that moment of peace in the bathroom. I feel it all friends, and I hope you know it’s OK to be exhausted. It’s OK to cry when you need to let it all out. It’s OK to let everyone just eat leftovers or cereal for a night. It’s OK to need to sit in the car or take a walk by yourself or lock your bedroom door to get a break. Normal rules do not apply right now, these are not normal times.
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I'm learning how to cook more and be more creative in the kitchen, however, I will say that my steam for keeping up the creativity in the kitchen is definitely starting to run low!  We've been meal planning as much as possible in order to make the most of each grocery pick-up, and it has certainly helped give us some sense of healthy shared routine together.  I was reminded of how difficult this was when my mom was a single mom of two children, and I continue to be grateful that she persevered and we all made it through those tough times as a family.



It's been nice to see more flowers popping up in the gardens around the neighborhood.  More sunshine in the sky.  More warmth in the air.  It has felt like a very long stretch of cold and unsavory weather, so we're celebrating any opportunity to get out and walk around right now.








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For some reason, this week has also been heavy with a lot of intensive and emotional energy.  I don't know if other people were feeling it as well, but I was definitely feeling it in a very big and real way.







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 The moon seemed to amplify all the feels and movement of water in my body, and the veil of illusions around other people's words and meanings was lifted and revealing of layers of lies and hurts that seemed to be echoed not only in my social circles, but also in news reports.  I certainly never could have predicted what an emotional impact this pandemic would have on our hearts, minds, and lives.


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