This was a week of really hard decisions for my husband and I. France went on full lock down to the extent of requiring written self-declaration forms for any movements outside of the home. The EU started talks of closing its borders. The US started talking about closing its borders to flights from the EU. Big decisions needed to be made quickly because each night a new set of international travel policies were being issued and Alex and I only had a few more weeks left on our Schengen Visiting VISA. After talking with the US Consulate for France, there was no assurance that we'd be given any help if we remained in France for the duration of our reserved apartment stay.
Wanting a private escape to relax in without traveling far, we found a hotel suite available with a private jacuzzi. The news of France declaring closure of restaurants, cafes, and stores except for grocery and pharmacy came after yesterday’s relaxing lunch and while we were surrounded by hot bubbly water. The situation figuratively and literally came to a boil while we were attempting to find relaxation among the chaos. As expats living outside of home territory, we are constantly weighing our options against the risks of border concerns, closures, and country health and safety guidelines. For right now, during the immediate crisis decisions, life is comfortable in Paris, even with the retail closures. We have grocery stores and pharmacies in walking distance. Public transport currently remains open and we have Uber drivers still willing to work. We have parks and sunshine and flowers in walking distance. We have a home with a kitchen full of supplies. We have great internet connection and cellular service. We have access to good healthcare services and options. We have working lives that can continue online. We feel very fortunate and do not take any of this for granted- we know this is not the case for everyone. These factors are also all part of our decisions as we consider our next destination- knowing that many countries are implementing quarantines for incoming visitors regardless of health. We are both healthy and have not been symptomatic, but also know that doesn’t make us completely immune or without risk to others. We care about keeping the community around us healthy and safe as much as ourselves. Humanity is resilient and together we will help each other get through the challenges.
The post above was made before the border closures had been announced. We'd booked the hotel as part of a birthday staycation for my husband's birthday. At first it all seemed like it was just going to be localized enforcement. Our first couple days were spent stocking up for what we expected was going to be a longer stay for both of us. I'm glad I captured a sense of my emotions in those first few days, because while I knew we needed to make some decisions about what would happen next, I definitely thought those decisions were going to be further out than what transpired.
Scenes from Paris food shops, the Sunday after the announcement to close cafes, restaurants, retailers, and non-essential businesses. Gratitude to the workers who continue to show up and support the community during this time. We’ve seen the shelves being cleared of items in the United States- and are happy that Parisians in our area aren’t behaving in the same way, which may also be due to the fact that Parisians don’t drive SUVs or have endless storage in their small apartments. When everyone walks to and from their grocery store, they only buy what they can carry. A tight-knit urban life is not designed for storing more than a few days of food inside the home. We’re grateful that the neighborhood we’re staying in has multiple grocery stores in walking distance, a couple butcher shops, several boulangeries, and some imported foods and specialty food shops. Restaurants and cafes are indeed closed, even fast-food takeaway options are closed, but the butcher does offer a few cooked meats that serve as take-away for those who don’t cook, and the grocery store and specialty food stores have some prepared foods that can easily be reheated in a pan even without a microwave. As a girl for whom cooking is one of my least favorite activities (likely due to multiple childhood traumas involving kitchen fires)- I’m especially thankful for the great prepared food options that are easy to reheat.
On Monday in Paris, our first full day of embracing the new pandemic measures issued by France on Sunday, I learned... • Parisians are actually pretty good about the whole social distancing thing with regard to waiting and keeping space between people at grocery stores • Routines and habits are really hard for people to break. The large corporate corner grocery had people waiting outside to go in, while the small independent grocers across the street and organic grocery hidden under some scaffolding had no lines or waits and many of the same items • Brasseries are finding ways to offer take out and supplies from window service in order to keep serving • The little food import shops run by people who may be first generation immigrants have a lot of amazing things to offer and are so hospitable and gracious for the business • My spouse has a stronger hunter/gatherer instinct than I apparently have, because he felt the need to go out and look for food and grocery twice and at multiple stores in the same day. Don’t get me wrong- we ate a far better meal because of that- but left to myself, I prefer social distance over a perfect meal • My spouse and I need different work environments. He needs a social environment with talking, meetings, and a variety of people. I need more peace, quiet, and stillness if I’m going to do anything creative • We found a way to compromise our different needs by muting the sound on the TV while still having a ticker tape of faces and headline news on the screen • I naturally social distance myself because clairsentience makes it difficult not to feel other people’s energetic signals within 3ft • I’m quite comfortable working from home in a non-social environment because I’ve been self-employed for so long from a home office What are you learning during this time about yourself, your community, or your family?
That Monday was the last day my husband and I would be together in Paris for who knows how long, but neither of us would know it until later that evening when I decided that I'd definitely be heading to Michigan next and he decided he'd definitely be heading to China. We agreed to try and meet up again in Europe in the Summer, hoping that viral arc for the rest of the world would clear up in a similar timeframe as it did for China.
My reasoning for eventually going back to Michigan was that I guessed things were going to get worse in the USA, and if I felt cut-off from friends and family during that time due to internet issues in China as well as time zone differences, I'd feel really awful if something happened to them and I couldn't be there for them. I also knew that Alex would have enough of a community and support system in China if something happened to him, but that our single moms, especially my own, didn't have enough other support systems. I trusted that Alex and I would see each other healthy after the chaos settled, and perhaps even celebrate our anniversary together in Shanghai or New York.
Alex's decision came down to where he felt like he might have the most freedom to keep working and going out as he wanted since the situation in China was now improving while the rest of the world was not. He knew it was going to require him to undergo 14 days of quarantine in a hotel room alone upon entry, but he felt the freedom in the end would be worth it. So, he took off Tuesday morning to Shanghai by way of Tai Pei, and I spent St. Patrick's Day in Paris alone, trying to figure out how to make the most of the ingredients we'd stocked in the fridge.
Being on lock down in Paris is not my unluckiest St Patrick’s day. My unluckiest St Patrick’s day experience was actually in Ireland, in the county of Meath, at Loughcrew Cairnes- an ancient passage tomb. Yesterday, while I was experimenting with what might go together in the kitchen, my broccoli, falafel, tzatziki combination reminded me of Loughcrew (the satellite image). It was a rainy day- as Ireland often is, which means it was just as good as any other day to go for a walk and see an ancient passage tomb. I didn’t have the best shoes on for hiking, but I still made it up hill with only a few slips on wet grass along the way. When I reached the top, I stood on some stones over what appeared to be a cross shaped hole in the ground. But this site is considered to be from 3300BC - so no Christian god or Catholic Saint Patrick would have been recognized during the time this site was constructed. I looked out over the hills- all looking so much like the one I was standing on. This one had been carved into with a passage tomb and constructed based on solar alignment. I wondered exactly how much of this rolling valley had been crafted by man in some way. Then I got wrapped up in man-made creations and wondered if all of this was just man-made. In my pondering, I realized I was getting really wet from being in the rain. I stepped off the stone and my foot slipped in mud. My ankle made a loud pop and gave out right under me. I had my pro camera gear on me and used my hands to protect it while letting my body take the fall. When I went to get up, I realized I couldn’t stand. My ankle was in too much pain to bear weight. The ground was slippery and it was hard to pull myself up. I laid there in tears of surrender, realizing how fucking limited and fragile the human body can be. The moment felt so ironic after pondering human greatness. If I was superstitious, I might have felt cursed. Either way, I wasn’t feeling very “lucky” that St Patrick’s Day. So, this St Patrick’s Day I feel very lucky for my good health, loving family, and great neighborhood in Paris.
After preparing a ton of food from scratch, I started to get cozy inside this Parisian apartment with its big French Door style windows, great kitchen, good washer & dryer, and nice internet connection. I started to feel a sense of sanctuary in the solitude and allowed myself to enjoy it as much as possible.
There are a few ways we can approach isolation on any given day, and I feel like I’ve experienced them all over the course of my life because I’ve spent A LOT of time alone. For maximum benefit, I’d recommend rotating between these. 🦥 SLOTH APPROACH This approach is the lazy Sunday approach. It’s surrendering to the chaos of the world around you in a way that allows your body to relax, your immune system to recover, and your tension to unwind. No where to go, nothing to do, maybe you read a book, watch a movie, have a sandwich, but nothing that requires much effort. It’s allowing yourself to be OK with simply existing for the purpose of breathing to exchange air with plants and eating to break down mother nature’s creations as an efficient composter. You are still serving an essential planetary function even when you think you aren’t. 🐶 PUPPY APPROACH Call all the friends, family members, and humans in your life. Fill them up with love and care and attention. Make them feel remembered, cared for, and important. Write recommendations for your favorite small businesses online, share all the memes and pet videos online, find ways to be uplifting and happy making. Play some ridiculous games, make funny videos or memes and share it with social networks to entertain the people you love. 🐲 DRAGON APPROACH Blaze through to do lists. Create new things. Make plans to stay motivated. Conquer meal prep. Exercise like crazy. Fix all the things. Organize the storage. Tackle all the projects. Dance party to deal with extra energy. 🐻 BEAR APPROACH Observer & Protector, making sure your favorite people have all their needs met. Allow family members to act out any of the approaches above while simply observing that they are doing it safely and not falling off trees, setting things on fire, or cutting hands. You make some meals, protect and comfort when needed, but otherwise calmly observe and oversee. Tuesday I was in total 🦥 mode in the apartment, 🐶 mode online. Wednesday I was in 🐲 mode around cooking all the things, but 🐻 mama mode making sure my people were ok. How about you? How are you approaching it?
Just as I was starting to feel cozy, word came the very next day of United States border closures on the way for flights coming from the EU. Ugh. Once I made the decision that I'd go to Michigan next, I had already booked a flight out for Sunday, March 22, which was still earlier than the original plan to leave April 12th, but based on actions taken at airports during previous shut down announcements, I knew I'd need to bump even that flight up to the next possible option, which was Friday March 20th.
Thursday was spent checking the status on all flights that had previously been scheduled to DTW from CDG. Several flights with major code shares had already been cancelled in the EU border closing situation. I could only hope that my flight would have accumulated enough stranded travelers that it would make its way from Paris to Detroit without cancellation. Delta was now doing codeshares with KLM, AirFrance, Virgin, and several other major carriers, reducing flights and flying much bigger planes. I lucked out and landed a business class seat that would give me a little more social distance from any symptomatic people on the airplane.
The list of cancelled flights was increasing, but my flight still scheduled. I packed everything up Friday morning, and felt guilty about the amount of food that I had cooked and prepared that would end up going to waste. I still wasn't entirely sure if flight would take off all the way up until it actually lifted off the ground. A few other people on the flight told me that they were part of a group that was trying to get out of Morocco, and they just made it to Paris along with a few other people. Unfortunately, they'd be living at CDG Airport for the last 3 days, largely on wine and convenience store snacks since all of the restaurants and food buffets at the airport were closed. They made it- but I imagine their immune system may have taken a hit before they boarded the plane.
We had someone with more than an occasional cough on our flight, which was alarming for anyone sensitized to symptoms of viral spread. Several people in business class has pulled blankets all the way over their head instead of just up to their necks. I decided to approach it by drinking as much hot tea and water as possible so that my body wouldn't attempt to grab any of its moisture needs from the air. Nine hours later, we all landed safely in Michigan.
