August 27, 2019

First Week in Bali - Adventure Year Week 11




Bali has been "calling me" in little ways since 2012.  It started while living in Australia, when I would see some beautiful pieces of wood furniture, ask where they came from, and learn that they were from Bali.  I'd see a colorful purse in a market, fall in love with it, look where it was made, and it was made in Bali.  Even last year, I walked into a shop in Berlin, Germany, was enchanted by this glass globe shaped over gnarly wood, and then learned it was from Bali.  So, here I am, trying to figure out what Bali wants to share with me.



My first impression is that Bali is way more crowded than I expected.  If you only looked at Instagram photos, you might think Bali is full of large open green spaces with random swings and private villa pools.  Yes, it does have that and you can create those moments for yourself.  However, in order to get to those moments, you're going to need to go through quite a bit of heavy traffic and try not to get hit by a motorbike.



Because of the density of people and traffic, the first couple days were a bit alarming to my senses.  In many ways, I was hoping this would be an escape from city density and traffic.  There are times when it can feel that way- like while lounging around our Villa property with a private pool that only gets shared with a few other people; or while lounging on our open-air porch daybed, listening to the birds and the breeze through the tropical trees.  The private Villa moments are when Bali feels like an escape from everything else- and thankfully- we did find a place that can offer that sense of escape.



Yet, all we have to do to in order to come face to face with traffic and motorbikes swerving through the road is to step just outside the property and walk to a nearby cafe on a street with very little walking room between the doors of buildings and the two lanes of traffic on the road.  We're then back to heightening our defenses by looking around every power line pole, private altar, and parked car just to make sure there's enough space to walk.  A delicious cafe that's only a football field away can feel much further when you're just trying to stay alive on the walk there.



Now, this isn't the case everywhere in Bali.  There are still places so remote that you cannot walk to a cafe at all or even get a taxi to come pick you up and there are places that have more sidewalks in areas that are a bit more commercially developed and have made a dedicated community effort to encourage walking traffic for retail stores and resorts.  However, retail stores and resorts also means there are more people using those sidewalks as well, so then it's about dodging people and the canang sari spiritual offerings laid out on sidewalks and holiday poles rather than cars.



After sampling a bit of Denpasar, Ubud and Seminyak this last week, I think the area we chose in Canggu has a nice combination of cafes nearby, small retail businesses, privately owned villas interspersed with rice farms, and just enough beach traffic for us to easily capture a taxi or a gojek if we need it to go elsewhere.  We can even occasionally hear a traditional gamelan orchestra practicing in one of the alleyways nearby, which is a welcome distraction from the sounds of motorbikes while walking around.  For the most part, people in this area like being close to the beach and generally have a more laid-back approach to business and life.



The Canggu and Seminyak beach scene offers a combination of large commercial beach clubs and resorts with high end bars and restaurants, or little tiny beach shacks with a few cushions and umbrellas to sit on between surfing attempts or just for watching the sunset with a drink in hand.  We did decide to make a day of spending time at Finn's VIP Beach Club, and I shared my mixed feelings about the whole experience in the instagram post below, so I won't rehash it those here.  More than anything, it gave us an experience to compare to when it came to just hanging around our quiet villa pool.  The beach club is definitely about the "scene" and a place to be "seen" which is something I enjoyed much more in my 20s than I do in my 40s, but it did give us a place to relax without needing to dodge traffic for lunch or dinner and a place to lean over the edge of calm pool waters while watching the strong ocean surf and sunset with drink service and a DJ pumping out beats.


Having VIP or First Class experiences make me wrestle with what my idea of happiness is.  Does it make me happier to have someone serve me and get me everything I need so I can stay in one cozy place without lifting a finger?  Or does it make me happier to explore freely without anyone attending me, leaving me to find weird quirky things and learning how to negotiate with locals in languages and cultures I don't understand yet?  Luxury is often associated with a certain level of service and attention to detail, but I find that there's a part of luxury that can be somewhat constraining (until it's a lay-flat airline seat, because that is definitely less constraining)!  I think for me, happiness is less about having a luxurious experience and more about experiencing a certain level of freedom.  Freedom of speech, freedom of creativity, freedom of movement, freedom of travel, and freedom of choice.  I know those things make me happy.  Having an exclusive spot where everyone can look at me under a brightly lit VIP marquee?  Meh, that feels a bit more like being in a birdcage.

August 21, 2019

Summer Visitors in Shanghai - Adventure Year Week 10

I'm currently in Bali and writing this on Wednesday 6pm at sunset from the porch of a rented villa in Canggu.  I didn't even realize I missed my self-imposed writing deadline yesterday until it was too late to think about writing anything- but I'm trying not to be too hard on myself when writing for myself rather than for a client!  Alex and I arrived Monday evening and the last 48hrs have basically been settling into our local neighborhood full of cafes, restaurants, shops, and traffic buzzing along a narrow street with no sidewalks.  There's so much in this small area that we haven't ventured away yet, but that makes it easier to now sit down and write.

Over the last couple weeks we had an influx of visitors to Shanghai that we dined with, entertained, and hosted at our apartment in Shanghai.  That also means it was a chance to revisit the touristy places that our guests haven't been, but also discover some new places we may not find reasons to try otherwise.  Most of the people who came to visit were teachers on their final weeks of summer break, who had some relation to Alex as a student or colleague at one point in time, and were in the area for family, friends, or work-related events.

Jun-Ting, who was Alex's first master's student at Indiana State University, teaches music education in Taiwan and has family in Shanghai.  She invited us to join her family on Chinese Valentine's Day for dinner at the Hyatt on the Bund.  We discovered that the Hyatt rooftop bar and lounge may actually have one of the best views of the Shanghai Bund- stretching from one bridge to another, around the bend, and in full view of the Pearl Tower.



She also gifted us this very retro-inspired gift that at first appeared to be a record, but upon opening, was actually a set of teas.  Very creative.


I feel like I'm often caught off-guard by the gifting culture in China.  I feel like gifts come out of no where for reasons and rules that I'm still unclear on.  I'll think we're just meeting up for dinner with someone and BAM, out come gifts, too!  I've received many gifts from Alex's students who come from China, even though I've never met them.  If they have to gift every one of their teachers, and teacher spouses at a University, can you imagine the luggage they have to carry just for gifts?  I've also been told that in most of the circumstances in which I receive gifts, I should not reciprocate.  Apparently it's due to the role and respectfulness gifting is meant to show- so I'm just supposed to receive- unlike in the United States, where reciprocity becomes a bigger deal with gifting.  I've also been told that Chinese do not expect Westerners to understand the rules around gifting- so I'm off the hook from that perspective as well.  Anyway, I digress.  Along with the tea gift we received from Jun-Ting, we also received a very nice Soju (rice-whiskey) gift from Angela, who is currently living in South Korea; and is also a former Masters student affiliated with the MusEdLab at NYU.  (I don't know if it's weird to mention the gifts people give us, but I know I'd be curious if they weren't mentioned.)



Even though Angela had been to Shanghai before, she hadn't been to some of the traditional sites like Yu Garden and Tianzifang.  We lucked out and got a couple days when the heat and humidity was just low enough to enjoy walking around outside in the shade of the garden, but we still found ourselves craving air conditioning and cool iced drinks just to keep our energy up for wandering around.  We shared a more expat-centered Shanghai with her, and she shared some traditional Chinese food and an Art Museum I hadn't been to yet with us.  This is why I'm always up for adventures with visitors - we all see the city in different ways and can learn more from that.



I didn't get to share a photo from our visit with Stefania Druga, but she was in town to do a workshop, stopped into Alex's class to share some projects, and then met up with us at Char inside Hotel Indigo for dinner and drinks with views along the Bund.  She's spending a little more time on this side of the world before heading back to the United States to work on a PhD.



We also met up with Jen just before leaving for Bali, who is not just visiting, but recently moved to Shanghai to work in an international school as a counselor.  Jen and Alex both come from the small town of Butler, MO; so it's quite a coincidence that of all the cities in the world, they would both find themselves living and teaching in Shanghai.



With all the visitors we had, I'm also glad we were able to make time to say goodbye to Lulu, who has been so helpful and inspiring in everything she puts her energy into.  Last year when we spent our first summer together in Shanghai, she shared her love of her hometown Hangzhou with us, and this year she led a summer school creative performance program that featured some original music created by her and the students, and organized professional creative meetups in Shanghai similar to what MusEdLab does in NYC.  We'll miss her in Shanghai as she heads back to NYC in pursuit of a PhD at Columbia.



Playing the role of host and professional spouse for so many visitors can sometimes wear me out and make me feel like I'm not investing enough time in my creative work, but I balanced expectations by not trying to see people in all contexts, and squeezing in work moments whenever I could.  There are a few projects brewing behind the scenes, but they still need more time before being publicly available.