Integrity Challenges - Gratitude Journal #8

posted on: March 29, 2012

Detroit Indian Hindi Catholic Wedding

I think we've all found ourselves in a situation at one point or another when our integrity was tested. Most often we encounter this challenge when our actions aren't perceived to match up with our words, or when someone says we aren't "practicing what we preach." Sometimes it's as simple as missing a deadline, or failing to deliver on a promise we've made to someone in writing or even by suggestion. This constant #FAIL at life and business happened in royal-flush-spades for me during post-production for the wedding above. It was the biggest wedding I'd ever done and I thought I'd over-prepared for everything I was going to encounter, and yet still there was more I never could have foreseen. I was tested to the point of tears, breakdown, and pure exhaustion.

I'm grateful for these lessons that have challenged me to deal with difficult situations better, especially when much of a situation is spiraling out of my control when I feel like I should have it all under control. I am sincerely grateful for the tears I ended up shedding on the phone with this client when I was faced with the fact that I had made promises I wasn't keeping. I spent a lot of money and time making it right, but they had also invested a lot of money and time in me and my talent. I take their trust in me very seriously, especially because that trust is derived from the promises I make. When I screw up- I admit it and I fix it.

As nice as it is for people to be polite about their feelings and not wanting to upset anyone, please, call me out when I'm acting like a hypocrite or I've made a promise I haven't kept. Do it with love for who you know I aspire to be even if I haven't figured out how to be that amazing just yet. I am human. I make mistakes. I am not perfect and I know it. Integrity is a big deal to me, and when I'm not being true to my word, I want to be called on it. It might lead to frustration and anger if I'm not prepared to face the hard truth, but it's because I am frustrated with myself for not realizing that I was doing something against the value system that I believe so strongly in.

Likewise, when you tell me I've been acting against my values when I feel strongly that I'm in line with my values, you give me an opportunity to share my reasoning or understanding of those values. Perhaps we understand certain words or values differently from one another and what is perceived as hypocrisy to you, is really just a different interpretation of the same word, or a different interpretation of how that word plays out in actions. If you talk to me about it, we can both reach a new understanding together. We may even end up agreeing to disagree, but at least we will understand where each person is coming from and how our actions may be perceived by others we encounter on a regular basis.

Try to understand me before you judge me. Ask me to explain and clarify before you assume. It takes more time, but the results are far more peaceful and less harmful. We cannot control how others perceive us, but we can have patience and understanding that perhaps their world view is so different from our own that they don't even know when what they've done has had such a negative impact on us. When we hold onto hate, we hold onto burden and baggage that we don't need to carry. It does not weight the other person down, it only weighs us down, which means it's our responsibility to address it and understand it better from a different perspective. Once we reach a point of understanding, we can have greater peace of mind and flexibility in sharing more easily with those who do not have our same values or perspectives on the world. When you seek to understand others, you are seeking a sense of peace for yourself.

While being inspired to write this post, I ran into this cute comic, which describes a lot of why people tend to misunderstand and get angry with people they don't agree with...
Girlie Pains Emotional Baggage Comic
[Get more Girlie Pains]

I also ran into this, which explains my approach to gratitude...
More on the Use and Misuse of Gratitude from Deepak Chopra

{If you appreciated this post, please join me in my journey to have a greater positive impact on the world by writing your own gratitude journal and sharing it or a link to it in the comments below. I would love to read your moments of gratitude and share them with others!}

1 comments, to add [click here]:

  1. Hi Anne! I seriously started a gratitude diary one year before. My first son and my marriage make me smile every day, although I'm not sure I'm doing ok everyday. I lost my job and start thinking about my gratitude diary... Then, I've opened a new "business" where I have developed Gratitude Diary for iPhone. It's completely free and mi intention is to spread the word about gratitude benefits. I hope you can try it and give your opinion ( Thanks for your words...


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